Battle of the Sexes :P

Some jokes I found here and there – one may dismiss them as mere jokes – but sometimes jokes are inspired by real-life – so how non-sensical are they in fact?

Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater.
If you give her sperm, she’ll give you a baby.
If you give her a house, she’ll give you a home.
If you give her groceries, she’ll give you a meal.
If you give her a smile, she’ll give you her heart.
She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her.
So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit.
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I phoned up a really gorgeous ex-girlfriend of mine the other day. We lost track of time, chatting about the nights we used to enjoy together. I couldn’t BELIEVE it when she asked if I’d like to meet up and maybe rekindle a little of that magic.

“Wow!” I said “I don’t know if I could keep pace with you now! I’m a bit older and a bit balder than when you last saw me!”

She giggled and said she was sure I’d meet the challenge.

“Yeah,” I said, “Just so long as you don’t mind a man with a waistband that’s a few inches wider these days!”

She laughed and told me to stop being so silly. She teased me, saying she thought tubby bald men were cute.

“Anyway”, she said, “I’ve put on a couple of pounds myself!”

So I hung up…

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When a man talks dirty to a woman, it’s sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it’s $4.95 a minute.

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The original Jealousy
Adam was returning home late one night at paradise after drinking with the dodo and the unicorn. Eve got angry and yelled at him: “YOU ARE SEEING ANOTHER WOMAN”

Adam responded: “Don’t be silly, you are the only woman on earth” and went to sleep.

Later that night Adam woke up, feeling a tickle in his chest and saw it was Eve. “What the heck are you doing?” he asked.

“I’m counting your ribs” she responded.

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Tension: When wife is pregnant!
Terror: When girlfriend is pregnant!
Horror: When both r pregnant!
Tragedy: When U r Not responsible for both!

*Hehe I know this is lame but I laughed when I first read this XD

Oh and do do the poll yeah? Just for fun